I have been a single parent for some time now and it hasn’t been easy. Sometimes I wish things would’ve worked out with my ex husband and wish he would change but that isn’t going to happen. He’s almost 50 and has been doing the same things and been the same way for years. So he’s not going to change his ways.
He lies a lot and smoked weed. I hated that about him. But I didn’t want to deal with it anymore and got away from it. He didn’t do weed around me our out kids. He would go hang with his friends and he was never home. That is also another reason.
I never thought I would get divorced. We were married for 10 years. I wish time would go back and things would be so different. I’ve been having a hard time lately and this is not the first. We single parents go through it alone and be the father and mother. I can handle things but sometimes I get lonely and sit and think about the help I could be getting. He hardly ever was home to help anyways.
I do hope one day that I can enjoy life and find love. I want that for myself. I want to know what it feels like to be loved. I guess I didn’t feel that from my ex because I don’t know the feeling. I was in love with my ex boyfriend and I know what it feels like to love someone, but he didn’t feel the same so I have no idea what it’s like to be loved.
My children have different things wrong with them. ADHD, ODD, Bipolar, Mood swings, Autism. So it’s very rough for me sometimes doing the parent thing alone.
I plan on going back to church to get saved and go from there. Tomorrow is Sunday so we will see how it goes. 🙂